>> jimmy: thank you very, very much, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." how you guys feeling tonight? you feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] friday crowd. you guys enjoying march madness? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i am so pumped for this weekend. my friends are coming over. we're going to pound some beers, paint our faces and watch the health care vote go down on c-span. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] woo! i've been watching the ncaa tournament, and there's been some huge upsets. in fact, sports writers said ohio's win over georgetown was the first time a number 14 seed beat a number 3 seed since 2006. [ laughter ] 2006. that's such a huge deal. i mean, it's like, dude, you don't understand the last time that happened, "lost" was on tv --

[ laughter ] beyonce was popular. it was, like, crazy stuff, man. "tell me about it, grapa." "yeah. 2006, man, wow. heady days." here's some movie news. "repo men" came out today, starring jude law as a guys who rips out your internal organs if you can't pay for them, or, as we call it in the u.s., your insurance company. [ laughter ] speaking of health insurance, the democrats are working overtime to get 216 votes to pass health care on sunday. which means rahm emanuel is brawling the showers like the head of a prison gang. [ laughter ] "you guys vote yet?" here's some good medical news. there's a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney transplants in 45 minutes. because when you're getting a kidney transplant, your main concern always, "how long is this going to take?" [ laughter ] "can you do it in less than an hour because i've got to watch a 'glee' repeat." [ laughter ] it's pretty crazy.

i just read about a retirement home in mexico that caters exclusively to older prostitutes. [ laughter ] and you thought you hated visiting your grandmother. [ laughter ] it's rough over there. whenever the residents win bingo money, they have to pay 70% to a pimp. to a pimp. [ laughter ] to a pimp. listen to this. in california, a 9-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl helped deliver their baby brother when their mother unexpectedly went into labor. daughter said she says she was glad to be able to help and the son, he hasn't said much since the most horrifying day of his life. [ laughter ] here's a weird story. a man in switzerland escaped from a transsexual brothel -- [ laughter ] -- after a fire forced him to jump out the window. he was released om the hospital with minor injuries.

then went home to his wife and experienced major injuries. and finally, time warner officials in north carolina have apologized for mistakenly airing previews for the playboy channel on two children's networks. kids watching tv at the time were shocked to learn just how much exploring dora was in to. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show for you guys. real quick, later tonight we're debuting a new segment on the show we call "battle of the instant bands." now, before the show, we grabbed eight people from the audience who never performed together, but are musicians, and we put them and made them as two separate bands, instant bands. they've only known each other for about the last half hour,

and so, in about 12 minutes, they'll be debuting with the name of their band and their hot new single. [ laughter ] here they are practicing right now. take a look at these guys, there they are. [ laughter ] so far, so good. looking pretty good. well, anyways, here we go. we have a fantastic finish to the week tonight. a talented actor and all-around great guy, ted danson is here! ted danson. i love ted danson. [ cheers and applause ] "american idol" judge, kara dioguardi is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] she's fun. and we've got some good music from air is going to be here. air, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] they are really good. you guys, friday is usually the day when i catch up on personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some e-mails, and, of course, i send out thank-you notes. well, i'm running a bit behind today, so i thought, if you wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. is that cool? [ cheers and applause ] hey, roots, how you guys doing? >> all right. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: think i can get some thank-you note writing music? ♪ [ laughter >> jimmy: wow. beautiful. thank you, vegan food, for being a healthy alternative to high-fat, meat-based diets and for tasting like microwaved paper towel. [ laughter ] thank you, jesse ventura, for promoting your new book this week. also for debuting your new look, which you obviously stole from the crypt keeper. [ laughter ] thank you, this pho, for

making me think, "you know what would be a great celebrity couple nickname? obalosi." [ laughter ] thank you, leaf blower, for making me look like the world's lamest ghostbuster. "i ain't afraid of no leaves." [ laughter ] thank you, glass of water on my table last night at p.f. chang's, for rippling when an overweight man walked by. [ laughter ] i know you weren't trying to

compare him to a dinosaur, but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? [ laughter ] thank you, this week, for being diversity week here at nbc. [ laughter and applause ] thank you, bad breath guy at work, who turns down my offer of gum. word to the wise, pal. when someone offers you gum, it's not because they're trying to get rid of extra gum. because your breath smells like a truck stop. take the gum. [ laughter ]

you guys faded on that one, huh? [ laughter ] didn't want to give anything up. thank you, hairless cat, for making me look like a hero when i told my wife you were a persian cat that i saved from a burning apartment. [ laughter ] this is the last thank-you note. [ audience aws ] ♪ >> jimmy: and i swore. i swore to everybody i could swear to that, i'm going to read it tonight, march -- >> whatever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: march whatever. to this audience right here, in new york city, and everywhere

around the world. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, people who insist on showing off ultrasound pictures of their unborn children. [ laughter ] just so you know, all those pictures look exactly the same. [ laughter ] like charcoal drawings of an alien. [ laughter ] there you go, everybody. there you have it. those are my thank-you notes. [ cheers and applause ] oh, one last thing, guys. i forgot, the team that we here at "late night" supported here in the ncaa tournament, siena college, just lost today. e final score was 72-64, purdue. congratulations to purdue. it was a heartbreaker, but, hey, to that amazing squad from

siena college, you have nothing to be ashamed abt. you had an historic season. we'll always remember the siena saints team of 2010. amazing players like alex franklin, clarence jackson, ronald moore, dwin ubiles, ryan rossiter, kyle griffin, kyle downey, that's right, both kyles. [ laughter ] jonathan breeden, steven priestley, davis martens. [ laughter ] davis marteens, as well. [ lauger ] he's good, too. he didn't make the cut, but he's good, too. brandon walters, connor fenlon, o.d. anosike. [ laughter ] owen wignot and just-in'love smith. that's the thing about the saints. they're always around us, watching over us. which is why we still have our saints pride. everyone in our audience has a siena saints t-shirt. how about a little swirl of respect, you guys? [ cheers and applause ]

there you go, right there. very, very good. thank you, saints. that was great. we'll be right back with battle of the instant bands! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ five, five dollar ♪ five-dollar footlong ♪ any, any, any ♪ five, five dollar ♪ five-dollar footlong ♪ any, any, any ♪ you c-c-can't go wrong even the zesterrific italian bmt... and dee-licious subway club are now $5 footlong subs. any regular footlong sub for just $5 -- hurry in! this offer won't last. ♪ at subway continues to be a very special beer. six weeks after jim started the business it took the best beer in america award. nobody had tried an american beer that had that kind of flavor. twenty years off, jim is still obsessed with boston lager. sam adams lager continues to win medals all over the world.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. welcome back, you guys. thank you so much for watching. happy friday. i hope you guys are ready. it's time for battle of the instant bands. ♪ >> jimmy: so as they said before the show, we went through our audience and grabbed a bunch of people who said they were musicians. let's give them a hand. there you go, right there. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show, you guys. you guys had no idea you were going to be playing tonight at all. >> no. we were lucky to get tickets. >> jimmy: this is co. why don't you start over here and tell me your name and ere you're from. >> mike from new jersey. >> andrew, queens, new york. >> -- from new jersey. >> alex from fairfield, connecticut. >> jimmy: very good, cool, very, very good.

anyone met before? no one met before. very good. back stage we asked you to come up with a name for your band. can you come up with one? >> we did. >> jimmy: what's that? >> 30 rockin'. >> jimmy: very good, 30 rockin' right here. 30 rockin'. let's take a look at your album cover. there it is right there. 30 rockin'. you'll see it when you get home. you'll like it. okay. what are your names and where are you from? >> joe from cleveland, ohio. >> jimmy: very cool. hey, welcome. >> i'm sarah from bettendorf, iowa. >> kyle from bradenton, florida. >> jimmy: very good. >> andy from atlanta, georgia. >> jimmy: very cool, all right. thanks for playing. what is the name of your band? >> larry bird and the champagne jam. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: of course. of course it is. larry bird and the champagne jam. now who is -- any reason? >> no. >> jimmy: any fans of

larry bird? >> where did that come from? >> we contributed to it. >> jimmy: fantastic. good. that's awesome. here's your album cover. all right. kind of psychedelic. kind of groovy. you'll like it. you'll see it when you get home. yeah. now the stage is set over here for a battle. look at it, this right here. your entire life comes down to what is over there and what you do over there, and you have only like 20 minutes to put it all together, so it's awesome. all right, 30 rockin', what's the name of your song? >> "amnesia." >> jimmy: very, very good. go take the stage. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] very, very excited. they are gearing up. never performed until 20 minutes ago. i'm very excited aut this. ladies and gentlemen, here to perform their song "amnesia," give it up for 30 rockin'. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> get a little clapping.

♪ ♪ girl, i've got amnesia you don't know what i'm going through ♪ ♪ girl, i've got amnesia and girl, i got it from you ♪ ♪ got something to tell you ♪ but i don't know what ♪ ♪ and i don't know why got something to ge you ♪ ♪ but i don't know what and i don't know why i've got amnesia ♪ ♪ you don't know what i'm going through i've got amnesia ♪ ♪ and baby i've got it baby, i got it from you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is jamming. 30 rockin'. come on over, guys. that was great, buddy.

that was awesome. all right. you guys ready to follow that? larry bird? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the name of your song? >> "doing it late night." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "doing it late night." there you go. good luck, guys. "doing it late night." yeah, you broke the stick. hey, you shattered that stick. really playing hard. all right. here you guys -- you guys ready? ladies and gentlemen, performing the song "doing it late night," here's larry bird and the champagne jam! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm doing it late night ♪ ♪ it's after midnight and surfing the channels ♪ ♪ looking for jimmy but i can't miss it i really need jimmy ♪

♪ i'm doing it late night i'm doing it late night baby ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. larry bird and the champagne jam. "doing it late night." >> late night, baby. >> jimmy: all right. good job, good job, guys. let's get to it and pick it a winner. it was 30 rockin'? [ cheers and applause ] or was it larry bird and the champagne jam? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a winner. it's 30 rockin'! all right. our winners today will get to take home the instruments that

they played tonight, and a gift certificate for $300 to guitar center. there we go. there you go, buddy. right there. awesome. sorry, guys, no one goes home empty-hand our second place band gets these stylish "f" off t-shirts. you get to keep them. absolutely. larry bird, you were fantastic. thanks to our friends at the guitar center, gibson guitar, yamaha drums and all this great equipment. these guys were awesome. give it up for these guys again. [ cheers and applause ] that was great. so good. when we come back, ted danson will join us. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if you've taken your sleep aid and you're still fighting to sleep in the middle of the night, why would you go one more round using it ? you don't need a rematch-- but a re-think-- with lunesta. lunesta is different.

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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome. welcome back. tonight, we welcome back to the show one of our favorite guests and an nbc legend. he's currently part of the great cast of "damages," which airs mondays at 10:00 p.m. on fx. put it together for mr. ted danson, everybody! ♪ ♪ dancing, dancing dancing mache ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, buddy. thanks for coming ck to visit. >> legend? >> jimmy: yes, legendary, nbc legend. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we should retire you. >> no, don't retire me. >> jimmy: you won't be dead. but we'll just lift you up in the rafters. >> no. i want to keep working. >> jimmy: well, we can do the scenes from up here. it'd be more fun, it'd be awesome for us. we'd love it. how was your st. patty's day? did you get bombed? [ laughter ] >> no. yeah, i'm -- i'm from california. i'm on a cleanse, you know. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: you're on a cleanse. >> it's the greatest time to get cleaned. >> jimmy: but you were in new york city. >> i know, i know. actually, i was working. we were shooting "damages" and we were on the street. very hard to shoot a street scene on st. patrick's day at midnight. it was, like, midnight. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> one drunk after another. we had to walk down the street together. timothy olyphant and myself were doing a scene and it was a walk and talk that took about 30 seconds, and we got about ten seconds in. "hey, hey, hey, 'cheers,' hey, hey!" [ laughter ] and everyone thinks they're the funniest and everything. my favorite was, "hey, there's [ bleep ] what's-his-face." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: "what's-his-face." >> yeah, my wife's taken to calling me that now. >> jimmy: yeah -- >> "[ bleep ] what's-his-face." >> jimmy: sure it wasn't larry david yelling at you? >> yeah, larry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how's larry david doing? >> spookily he's, i hear, happy.

>> jimmy: what? >> which is a little weird. >> jimmy: yeah, that is weird. >> it is very weird. >> jimmy: i don't like that. >> i know. >> jimmy: i don't like to see him like that. >> you know, truth is, he's a cream puff. >> jimmy: he is, yeah >> i mean, scary to be around because you never know what he's going to do, but my wife once said to him, "you know, larry, if anything really serious happened to me and i needed help, you would be the first person i'd call." and he starts crying. and she meant it, too. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah, he is that kind of guy. you know, you don't want to go out in public because he tries out his own material all the time. he's loud. he is spooky. >> jimmy: yeah. well, i know that -- this is -- maybe this story's not true, but you have a place in martha's vineyard and he's like, "hey, can i come by?" and you , "sure." and he meant he's going stay for the summer. >> two summers. >> jimmy: two summers. [ laughter ] he didn't leave. >> no, he didn't leave. >> two summers. >> jimmy: and he just hangs out. and now he bought a house, thank god, by himself. >> no, renting. >> jimmy: renting a house right next door to your house. >> right, and he comes to our gym. we have this little teeny workout thing above our garage,

and he shows up and works out in his underwear. i don't know. [ laughter ] it's very weird. >> jimmy: very weird. >> actually, he doesn't work out in his underwear. i shouldn't say that. he's the most private person in the world. >> jimmy: he is. >> actually, my favorite thing to do is to come out of a bathroom or something and do this with my hands and then give him a big hug. >> jimmy: drive him crazy. >> he's a germophobe. "come on, larry, come on." >> jimmy: "how you doing, buddy?" can we say -- because there's rumors this week that "curb your enthusiasm" is coming back. >> yeah, you know -- [ cheers ] i agree, but, you know, he takes his time and refuses to commit for, like, months, so i'm taking it on myself to make the announcement tonight. "curb" is coming back for -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hold on a second. can you just do that? >> yes. [ laughter ] "curb" is coming back next season. >> jimmy: absolutely again.

[ cheers and applause ] but does that mean that it is coming back? >> yes. "curb" is coming back next season. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is amazing. >> after this, i won't be on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you won't be on it. >> sorry. >> jimmy: now, we've got to talk about "damages." >> yeah. >> jimmy: the show you're on. >> great show. >> jimmy: fantastic show. you've got your glenn close. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have your lily tomlin. >> marty. >> jimmy: martin short. gosh, i love martin short. >> i know. and marty is doing nothing. marty not being funny is the scariest thing in the world. he's -- he's almost creepy on the show. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> he's really good. very good. >> jimmy: you kind of wait for him to do something funny. and you go, like -- that always freaked me out -- >> kind of like us right now. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: keep waiting for somebody to say something funny. >> yeah. >> jimmy: nothing. just letting people down. yeah, absolutely. [ laughter ] no, but martin short, i love to see comedians act, just, like -- you know. it's just -- it's a different feeling. i don't know how to describe it, but you play a great character. i heard that when you got hired to do "damages," they go, "oh, my goodness, ted danson, it's amazing, thank you for coming in. will you take acting lessons?" >> yes, literally. [ laughter ] the night before we started shooting the pilot they said, "hey, we have this acting coach that we'd love you to go see tomorrow," and i'm going -- >> jimmy: "i kind of ruled television for 20 years." [ laughter ] >> i didn't think that. i thought, "oh, my god, they've seen my work." [ laughter ] and they -- and so i went, and it turned out to be the biggest gift in the world. this guy is amazing, and he really, really changed things around for me. >> jimmy: well, you are -- you're knocking them out of the park in this show. >> thanks. >> jimmy: we have a clip of the show. >> i'd mention the acting teacher's name and he might not like my work so i won't. >> jimmy: you could say you're studying with two people. you're also taking classes with lawrence furstenberg, who is fantastic. >> larry recommended him.

>> jimmy: yeah, is he allowed in the country anymore? >> no. >> jimmy: no. you do it through skype? [ laughter ] >> i can't gety skype to work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: simple as pie. >> really? >> jimmy: is that what you say? simple as pie? >> easy as pie, sorry. >> jimmy: simple -- easy as pie. you ever made pie? >> wre ithat creepy area again. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, this is a good -- this is where it gets interesting, just want to see your instincts. like, you know -- yeah. i'm smelling your sweat now. it's like two animals. >> notice how fast i sell us out, too? i'm like that. >> jimmy: but i like that you did that. let's watch how great you are in "damages." >> yeah, yeah! >> jimmy: here's a clip. [ laughter ] >> good. see, that's what i wanted to you see. i mean, you can try to reason with that woman all you want, and it's just always all about her. i mean, did you see her? she can't help but stick the knife it in. did you see that? >> i know. and you were worried about portraying her in humanity. >> screw her humanity. she's going to make a great villain. don't you think? >> jimmy: yeah.

[ cheers and applause ] >> i always think that unless you're like, you know, leaping over a tall building and just smashing billions of things, like, what's the clip for? it's like, it's really -- >> jimmy: no, it's to show how -- that acting really paid off. that acting coach. >> "i'm ted danson. yeah!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, it was not. that was a good clip of you acting being arthur frobisher. fomisher. >> frobisher. >> jimmy: frobisher, yeah. that's you being arthur. >> frobisher. >> jimmy: i didn't see ted danson when i saw that clip, i saw arthur, the wine swilling billionaire. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] hey, we'll be right back with more ted danson for you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: everybody, we're back with the great ted danson. watch him and the rest of the great cast of "damages" on fx, monday nights at 10:00 p.m. now, ted, i love having you come on the show. last time it was, like, when i first started, and we interviewed -- it was a little -- >> dicey. >> jimmy: it was a little shaky. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, a little shaky. i didn't really know what i was doing, but we did a bit where we were whittling as we were doing the interview. i thought it was really fun. and then your beautiful wife, mary steenburgen, came on the show, i love her, and she just made fun of us. >> yeah. [ laughter ] ragged all over us. >> jimmy: she ragged all over the interview. i believe we have a clip. look at this. >> it was actually the most fun part, i think, i've ever played because i -- are you listening to me? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> because here's the trick to whittling, man. >> jimmy: oh, sorry. >> you've got to whittle a little bit, and then -- >> jimmy: and then pay attention. okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we did a bit while we were whittling while we were talking to each other. >> it was pitiful. [ laughter ] it was so lame. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? it was great. >> no. it was so lame.

i was watching in the hotel in, like, a fetal position sucking my thumb. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i thought it was pretty good. the interview, i thought, was going really well tonight. >> yep. >> jimmy: but i think, in honor of mary, do you want to do a -- >> let's lay one down. >> jimmy: do you want to do a boring interview? >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's do it. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah, you -- you have an interesting story about a gun in the post office, right? [ laughter ] >> no, no. [ laughter ] who did you hear that from? >> jimmy: i thought i --

[ laughter ] [ applause ] these hands are pretty weird. they're pretty scary. [ laughter ] i don't know. didn't you get someone else's mail or something? i don't know. didn't you have a story about the post office? >> oh, oh, oh, oh you know, one of my cast mates from "cheers" called me. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. was it woody harrelson? >> um. >> jimmy: was it woody harrelson? [ laughter ] was it shelley long? >> oh. shoot. >> jimmy: john ratzenberger, george wendt, one of the tortellis? was it woody harrelson?

[ laughter ] >> wait, wait, did you say shelley long? >> jimmy: yeah. >> right. it was her. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: how much longer you want to do this? >> ten seconds. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to the great ted danson. we'll be right back with "american idol's" kara dioguardi. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ boss: hey, those gecko ringtones you put on our website are wonderful.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest has written tons of hit songs and is an accomplished record executive. you know her best as one of the four judges on the television phenomenon "american idol." please welcome kara dioguardi. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: welcome to the show. >> that's my buddy. >> jimmy: you know one of the roots. >> yeah. >> jimmy: up there, james. not there. there you go. >> how are you? >> jimmy: how do you know james? >> we wrote a song together. do you want to know the title? >> jimmy: yes. >> "my bra." >> jimmy: james. >> and just letting you know, it was your idea to write that. >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa, i'm sorry. james, what's going on? "my bra"? >> for breast cancer. >> jimmy: oh, it's for breast cancer. >> see, he didn't want to play into theoke, 'cause he's too sweet. honestly, what it was it was for breast cancer. >> jimmy: it was called "my bra." >> it was a slogan, lifetime television called me up and said we have this slogan. it's called "my bra," and it's about being a support system for a woman who is going through cancer, but, you know, as a songwriter that's kind of my bra, that's kind of hard to write around.

>> jimmy: they give you the title of the song. >> yeah, because it was a campaign, and it was a really -- it was a great campaign. >> jimmy: that's tricky. >> it was tricky. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but james, is being the sensitive, sweet man he is. you are, james, come on. >> jimmy: let's be honest. he also wears a bra. >> he does. >> jimmy: you look good. >> um-hum. are you wearing one tonight? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, okay. right. >> jimmy: he gets so shy. gets so shy. >> he's so sweet though. >> jimmy: you've written a zillion songs. you started out as a songwriter -- >> i actually didn't. i started out -- i kind of, you know, went to school, went to college. thought i was going to be a lawyer, and made this kind of gigantic switch at the end of college and decide i wand to be an artist, but no one would give me songs because i wasn't signed, and they knew they wouldn't make any money with me singing them. so one day i just said, well, i'm going to have to write my own songs. that's how i got into it. >> jimmy: got out of whole lawyer thing and just went out.

>> i always heard melodies. >> jimmy: your parents must have been psyched, first of all. >> it was like, yes, i'm going to be a waitress, dad. >> jimmy: yes. >> after you spent all this money on my education. >> they were like, "no, you're not." >> jimmy: exactly. >> "you're going to get a real job," but they eventually saw that it was really something that i wanted to do. >> jimmy: you wrote the songs for like pink, gwen stefani, christina aguilera, celine dion, enrique iglesias, kelly clarkson. it's crazy. that's awesome. congratulations. that's a great accomplishment. that's real cool. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: and you're also an a&r exec at warner brothers. what does a&r stand for again? >> a&r is basically you scout talent. if you find an artist that you like, and you think you could make a record with, you kind of nurture them, you mentor them, similar to the way we do on "idol" but not 30-second mentoring. it's a lot of -- >> jimmy: you don't talk to these people on "american idol" like on the weekends? >> never. >> jimmy: keg parties? >> you're not allowed to. actually, there's so many times -- >> jimmy: paula did, didn't she? [ laughter ]

>> oh, come on. oh, come on. >> jimmy: all right. >> all right. >> jimmy: but you're not allowed to. you don't? >> no, not allowed to. >> jimmy: i thought you did. i thought people did. >> you can't. >> jimmy: what we see live on "american idol." >> that's it. >> jimmy: really? >> it's troublesome because sometimes you'll suggest a song, and then they will sing it and you'll be like whoopsie, not a good suggestion, but in the studio you would be able to spend weeks with these people as you try different things out. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it's hard when they don't know who they are. >> jimmy: do they take the arrangements of the song, or do you help them out? "guys, next week, do a little jason mraz. >> you can't, and it's unfortunate sometimes the way they decide to arrange the songs. >> jimmy: the last rolling stones one, when i was watching tim. >> tim urban. >> jimmy: yeah. the girls love me, always on twitter, trending all the time, and i'm like this guy, did on a full-on jason mraz type of reggae of rolling stones, and it was like, yikes. >> was kind of looking at simon going. he's like, "it's brilliant," and

i was like really? "brilliant," and i said, "we're not hearing the same thing," and then, of course, "it was awful." he wanted to -- wanted me to like say it was terrible. >> jimmy: he's trying to get you to change things up. >> but i love that about him, and i'm like i can't believe you, but it's fun. >> jimmy: that's what you guys whisper to each other. >> in that instance. in that instance. >> jimmy: kind of like a crue ship, it was over. >> he's funny, but thank god i didn't buy into it. i trted my instincts. >> jimmy: you have great advice. >> it was like awful. >> jimmy: i have to ask just before we go, predictions. can you even predict? it's not right for you to predict as a judge, how about prediction of people who are going to get thrown off? the opposite of picking a winner. >> can you tell us who is going to die on "damages"? >> not me. >> there you go.

>> ted: these people, this is their heart and soul. that would be awful to do. >> jimmy: do they pick the arrangements, these kids? >> they have to. >> jimmy: that's not fair. they don't know what arrangements are. >> well, they are helped with that. if one just wants to do an acoustic guitar version, they can say that. "i just want to use my acoustic guitar." >> jimmy: any instrument they want to? accordion. >> we're not having a bunch of accordion players this season, but next season, could be. >> jimmy: that will get all the kids watching. >> that's right, that's right. >> jimmy: tune in for more accordions. >> my dad used to play that growing up, "moon river," baby. he loved it. that was a beautiful song. >> jimmy: i love that. you won't tell you who you think is going to win. but it's one of those two girls, right? >> what are you trying to do to me? >> jimmy: or what's her name? >> what do you think? why don't you predict? >> ted: what is her name? >> crystal. >> jimmy: crystal or -- >> he actually comes to "idol" and we met.

and his lovely wife is a songwriter. >> jimmy: i know. you go to "idol" and hang out? >> ted: anything to be seen. >> and by the way, it's totally working. >> i got more cred from that than even this show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. we have tumbleweeds. come on, man. we thought of everything. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, i love you and i'm so happy you came on my show. thank you so much. >> very nice to meet you. >> jimmy: nice to meet you as well. kara dioguardi, everybody. "american idol" on tuesdays and wednesdays on fox. air performs next. there they are in the bud light lime green room right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cannon ] for 25 years, the focus at sam adams has been on quality, not quantity. people think we're bigger than we actually are. huge. 30% of the market? 10% of the market. sam adams is less than 1% of the entire u.s. beer market. [ koch ] at samuel adams, we're in a perfect place as brewers. we're big enough to be able to get whatever ingredients from wherever in the world we need to get it from,

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are one of my favorite bands. their latest album is called "love 2." here tonight to perform the song "love," please welcome air.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ love, love, love, love love, love, love, love love, love, love, love love, love, love, love ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ love, love, love, love love, love, love, love love, love, love, love love, love, love, love ♪

♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: coming around this way. thank you so much. i appreciate it. thank you so much. air, ladies and gentlemen. check out album "love 2." see them live, saturday in boston, monday in montreal, my thanks to ted danson, kara dioguardi, air! thanks, buddy. and the greatest band in "late night," the roots. right ere, there they are. stay tuned for carson daly. thanks for watching, have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. [ cheers and applause ] ♪